The year had gotten off to a good start with some good rides on the Dales Divide and B150 and so as the HT550 approached I was full of confidence that I could beat my previous time and get under the 5 days. I had even printed out the times that I reached various points last year so could see if I was ahead of schedule. A few weeks before the start my wife discovered a lump in her breast and after an initial biopsy they decided to remove it. Everything seemed to go into fast forward and before I knew it I was dropping her off on the Monday for the operation. I picked her up that evening and we talked about if I should go to the HT550 or not. She said she was fine and there was nothing I could do anyway so the next day after work I packed the car and first thing Wednesday caught the ferry and started the long drive north. I stopped in Kendal on the way up for the night and when I spoke to her I said I was quite prepared to just drive home again the next morning but she said I was just being silly and after all the effort I'd put in it would be a shame not to go. She wouldn't have any further results for a while.
I got to Tyndrum on the Thursday and soon met up with other riders and this took my mind off the other events. On Friday I went out for a ride down the WHW with Karl and TrepidExplorer and we had lunch at the Station cafe at Crainlarich. Back at the campsite we fettled bikes, made last minute kit choices, and packed food into bags ready. I also got to ride a fatbike for the first time thanks to AlasdairMc (more on him later) and was impressed with the traction but also the nimbleness of the ride.
All the riders met for the now traditional pre-ride beer and after I bought a takeaway pizza, half of which I wrapped in foil as food for the following day.
I was up early on the Saturday of the race and had soon eaten breakfast and packed up my hiker hut I'd stayed in and by 7:55 I was ready to head up to the Real Food Cafe. All that was left in the hut was my helmet and gloves. All I had to do was lock up and hand the key in at reception.... but where was the key? I looked around but it was nowhere to be seen! In a panic I started emptying stuff out of my car and searching through bags for it. Jane text to wish me luck and I replied that I'd lost the key to the hut and would miss the start looking for it. She called and told me to stop panicking. By 8:30 I still hadn't found it, I had looked in the pockets of the clothes I had on the day before, under the beds etc. I suddenly remembered I had put it in my wallet when I went out for dinner and it turns out I had put it back in there when I unlocked
I threw everything back in the car, dropped off the key and rode up to the cafe just in time for the group photo. I met Javi on the way and we rolled in the last two to arrive and just in time.We all rode up to the start and I chatted other riders and wished friends good luck. Alan called out the names of his 'tips' for success who would line up at the front and I was somewhat shocked when he called my name. I knew I'd not be able to keep up on the flattish first sections so moved forward a bike length but declined the invitation of a front row spot.
A few words of encouragement were said by an ITTer who'd finished (sorry I've forgotten your name) and as soon as it was 09:00 we were off. The weather was ok, not sunny but dry. When we got to the steep drop before we went under the railway another rider overtook me and stopped at the bottom, I shouted at him to keep going but there was nowhere for him to go, I had visions of crashing into him but somehow he managed to move forward just enough for me to get my front wheel onto the flat. If you're reading apologies for my attitude, I really thought I was going to end up on top of you and both our rides would be over but I can see now that the panic looking for the hut key had left me in the wrong frame of mind.
As we rode on round Loch Lyon I was starting to relax and calm down. Nelson Trees passed me going the wrong way, he'd lost his tracker just after the start and was going back to look for it. I cleaned the little kick at the end of the lock with it's 15% ramp and as I had a higher gear than last year I was pleased with this. I also passed a few of the riders who had passed me on the flat before it, but they soon passed me again once we dropped down onto the road to Bridge of Balgie. I rode briefly with a rookey who remarked that he had too much kit on his bike compared to what other riders had started with. I reassured him that it was finishing with it that counted and that any fool could start with hardly any kit and scratch at Fort Augustus. At the cafe at Bridge of Balgie I was 30 minutes up on my time from the previous year despite the damp conditions.
It had been raining lightly for a while but it was still warm so I stuck with my windproof. Through Rannoch Forest I caught and was re-passed by Jenny Graham several times and her enthusiasm and sheer joy to be riding was evident. We chatted briefly about her round the world ride and I was chuffed to have got the chance to meet her
The bog down to the Ben Alder bothy was less rideable this year but I was still 30 minutes up on my previous time. Up the singletrack climb I think I actually rode more than the previous year and this was probably that I've now got more experience of riding on this type of terrain and also that we didn't have the oppressive heat we did last year, if only
At the top I finally conceded that it was raining and stopped to put me 'waterproof' jacket on for the descent. After the descent and just before the road crossing I stopped again to put on my waterproof trousers and long finger gloves as by now I was getting very cold.The change in route this year avoids the long road section on the A86 and I was soon climbing up the Corrieyairack Pass. By now it had been a while since I'd seen another rider, I was getting colder despite the climb and was not really enjoying it at all. All I could think of was that my wife might be seriously ill, it would be her birthday on the Tuesday and I would be riding in Scotland in the rain instead of at home with her. The more I thought about it the more stupid it seemed to be riding in these conditions and for what? To get round in under 5 days? Why did it matter how long it took, I'd finished the ride last year and that should be enough. The more I thought about it the more I realised how selfish I was for riding this while she was at home on her own. I had decided I would scratch at Fort Augustus and I could still get home for her birthday. I was caught by Steve (another singlespeeder) and almost as soon as he said hello I unloaded my troubles on to him and told him how I was going to scratch at Fort A. I made the descent to Fort A without crashing this year and rolled into the pizza place which was full of wet and muddy mountain bikers. I was there just after 8:00 so I was 35 minutes faster than last year. I sat opposite Alan G and told him I was thinking of scratching and why, he kindly said I should go home to my sick wife which I assume was to give me an easy way out if I wanted to quit. I had dinner and sent Jane a text to say I was thinking of scratching. She replied and said there was nothing I could do at home and not to quit just for her. I should only stop if I was too cold or wet or the rivers were too dangerous. Karl was sat next to me and he said he was aiming for Corrimony Bothy for the night. I said I'd do the same and sleep on any decision to scratch.
I finished my dinner and headed out again. As soon as I stepped outside to the pizza place I started shivering again but I figured I'd warm up on the climb up to the Great Glen Way. Just after of Invermortiston I caught two other singlespeeders, Steve from earlier and Ben. I asked what their plans were and they didn't really have one. I said I was aiming for the bothy, Karl had said to turn right just after the bridge. On my notes this was at mile 111. As we climbed up through the forest we passed several bridges which in my mind I thought were where the turn off was and mile 111 came and went with no sign of it. Closer examination of my garmin revealed that the bothy was after Loch ma stack (site of the famous haunted house) so we'd have to pick our way round the rocks in the dark. By now all three of us were getting really cold. The others kept checking their maps and began to question if this mythical bothy existed but I was confident it was there even if it didn't seem to be getting any closer. After what seemed like ages we made it past the Loch and then it was the muddy unrideable track, I'd ridden this section in the morning last year, at least this time I couldn't see how much more of it there was left. I had opened up a small gap over the other 2 but kept looking back to make sure they were still in sight so they didn't miss the turn. They asked what would happen if it was full, I said it wasn't possible to be full and even if there were so many riders there we all had to stand up it would be better than being outside in the cold and rain.
Just before 1am we crossed the bridge and turned off route for the bothy. When we arrived there were already 3 other bikes outside. We looked in the main room and 3 riders were asleep. The back room was full of furniture and logs but at that moment we didn't care and moved the stuff about to make room to lay down. I was so cold and shivering so much and my hands so weak that I struggled to open my front bag to get my kit out, I had to use both hands to open the buckle. Once inside I laid out my bivi bag only to see it was full of water
It is a Borah Gear and although it is waterproof on the bottom the top is only water-resistant. With all the recent good weather I hadn't thought to pack it in a dry bag and the rain being forced through the stitching on the front bag had gone through the water-resistant top and was now inside. I didn't technically need a bivi for indoors but it would have kept the draft off. I blew up my mat which is a Klymit X Frame. There were some sections of polystyrene insulation in the room and I laid these down to supplement my mat and lift me off the cold stone floor. I said to the lads that I had to get out of my wet kit and apologized in advance for getting naked, they said we were way beyond caring about that 
I put on my base layer boxers and insulated jacket (which I had been saving as if it got wet I'd have no dry kit to sleep in)and laid out my Cumulus 150 quilt. I noticed that the lads were putting on long-johns, warm tops, hats, gloves and blowing up thick mats and getting out full sleeping bags with much better temp ratings than my quilt As I lay down I could hear a squeaking noise, at first I thought it was a mouse but then I released with a sinking feeling (figuratively and literally) that it was air leaking from my mat I lay there for hours shaking with the cold but I must have fell asleep at some point.It was light early and I heard the 3 riders from the front room getting up, I found out later they were Karl, Lars and Steve Large. I looked at my phone and saw it was 5am. If I was still racing I would have got up too but by now I knew my race was over. I just didn't have the desire to continue. I lay there for another coupe of hours and at 7am the 3 of us got up. To our delight there was a fireplace in the main room so we lit the fire and spent a couple of hours drying out kit, although it mainly warmed it and made it damp rather than wet. We rode down to the cafe at Cannich campsite and there were already other riders there. I had already decided that I was scratching, to push on north with the kit I had was not an option even if I was motivated and I really wasn't. The night before I was on the limit of what I would want to endure. I don't mind being cold/wet/tired but there was no margin for error. If I had an issue with the bike or went under at a river crossing I would struggle to warm up again. I could only just keep warm enough if I was riding. Also, the further north I went the harder it would be to get back to Tyndrum, I couldn't motivate myself to keep going with the thought that I might reach a river I thought was too risky to cross and have to turn back anyway. All I really wanted was to get back home.
The other two felt the same so we started to see how we could get back to Tyndrum. They messaged their boss (Isla) but we couldn't really ask her to pick us up as she had a broken foot and a 2 hour drive in one of their vans wouldn't have been a good idea. We looked into riding to Inverness and getting train but they only take 2 bikes at a time so we would have to split up and get separate trains. This didn't appeal and after the previous night we decided we'd stick together. I said I could message AlasdairMc as he had to said to contact him if I needed help. The lads asked how well I knew him and I said I'd only met him on Thursday. I didn't have any contact details so sent him a friend request of Facebook. He immediately replied and asked how it was going. I asked where he was and he replied Durness. He said he had zero plans so could drive back down if needed. He'd be 3 hours if we could hang on. I broke the news to the other 2 that someone I hardly knew was driving 3 hours to rescue us and then it would be another 2 hours drive back to Tyndrum. All we had to do was sit in the warm cafe for 3 hours eating
We were all blown away by this which I think is a demonstration of what it means to be part of the bikepacking community and also shows that despite all the bad news around these days that genuinely good people are still out there I text my scratch to Greg (who was very busy this year with scratches and twitter updates) and we waited for our rescue. We took turns to buy food and drinks at the cafe so as not to be just sat there but I don't think they minded. Loads of racers were in that day, buying food, warming up, drying kit in the tumble driers. I put a good tip in the jar.When Alasdair arrived we crammed 3 bikes in his van along with his which was already in there and headed south. On the road between Fort William and Tyndrum we passed another rider who was riding back having scratched. We pulled over and checked he was riding back. Alasdair dropped us off in Tyndrum and immediately headed back up the road to rescue the rider. He also went out again the next day to rescue 3 more and again the next on another rescue mission. In between all this he found time to ride out on the start of the route and find Nelson Trees missing tracker
Back at Pinetrees campsite I managed to get a hiker hut for the night and offered the spare bed to Alasdair so he didn't have to sleep in his van which was the least I could do. I called Jane to say I was safe and back at the start. I said I'd drive back Monday but she said she already had plans for her Birthday on the Tuesday and I didn't need to rush back, but if came back Tuesday I could go with her to the hospital on Wednesday to get her results. She hadn't told me that she would be getting them as she didn't want me to pull out of the race. The good news is that the cells were pre-cancerous and they have removed them all so she should be fine
So what I have I learned from this?
My fitness was good, I was faster than last year and the climbs were ok even with the higher gearing.
My motivation wasn't as good as last year. I was aiming for a time and not a completion, plus the other things on my mind meant my head wasn't ever really in the race.
My kit choices were wrong. Back at my car I had a heavier duty waterproof, warmer mat, warmer sleeping bag and warm base layers I could have taken. I also had my seat pack so I could have (should have) changed my kit choices to suit the forecast. I was so focused on going fast that I had become obsessed with weight saving. On the Friday before the start in the sun of the campsite it was hard to imaging how bad it would be. I knew the weather could be bad as it's the Scottish Highlands but for some reason I refused to believe it. As I said in the cafe, my waterproof is great when you are carrying it as it's light and packs down small but not so good when you have to wear it in the rain
So that's the story of my HT550, not how I'd imagined it would be but all worked out well in the end. For the last few days I've been thinking 'what if I'd carried on' but I know that scratching was the right decision at the time. I just didn't want it bad enough to suffer and what I wanted more than another finish was to be at home with Jane.
I'll have to read this before future events and make sure I learn these lessons. If you're not 100% committed to it then you can't bluff your way round. They say these events are 90% mental and the rest is in your head. Even bad kit choices can be overcome if you are determined, I'm sure I could have got bin liners to make a gilet, marigolds to keep my hands warm, I might even have been able to get a mat (or fixed mine with my glueless puncture kit if i could get it dry) and buy some warmer clothes to sleep in. If the rain had stopped for just 30 minutes with a breeze I could have dried my bivi bag and then put it in a plastic bag to keep it dry. But without the motivation to finish none of these would have helped.
Well done to anyone who finishes this year, or even just for starting. After all the good weather (not counting the BB300) it was a wake-up call to have to ride in poor weather. To push on day after day in those conditions takes real spirit and guts.
Oh, I also learned that drinking in the Tyndrum Inn with other scratchers and new friends is far better fun than riding in the rain
