Those left behind.

[Jurassic pusher]

On radio 2 this week Jeremy Vine was discussing the disappearance then reappearance of Benedict Allen and asked those who traipse off on adventures how their family and loved ones coped with the separation, I know that a week in Scotland is hardly living with a tribe in Papua New Guinea (fewer cannibals in PNG!)
I still think the question may apply to bike backing or spending time alone In wilderness areas.
I think I`m lucky my wife supports and encourages me to spend time sleeping In muddy fields and under hedges!
I read the other day of some one who`s wife who would cry whenever he rode his Harley, that can`t be be healthy.

[johnnystorm]

I read the other day of some one who`s wife who would cry whenever he rode his Harley, that can`t be be healthy.

The tassles on his jacket poke her eyes when she's pillion?

[Jurassic pusher]

I read the other day of some one who`s wife who would cry whenever he rode his Harley, that can`t be be healthy.

The tassles on his jacket poke her eyes when she's pillion?

You know what I`m trying to say but are taking the pi$$.
There`s nothing wrong with tassles in the right places (*) (*)

[BigdummySteve]

Hopefully my wife would cry if I ever bought a Hardly Movingson, she is fine with me pissing off, in fact she was disappointed that my JOGLE took so little time

[GregMay]

The tassles on his jacket poke her eyes when she's pillion?

You know what I`m trying to say but are taking the pi$$.

You've not met Nige have you?

To be fair, I'd cry if someone I knew drove a Harley. Godawful bikes.

But on topic, you make your decisions who you marry. If you marry someone, or end in a long term relationship with someone, who doesn't support being out in nature for extended times when that is something passionate to you - you have to ask, should you be with this person?

Which you're not, nor am I, nor are many others here. And that is why you've made a smart move.

I've terminated relationships, life and work, when our directions didn't match. 14 years later, still with the same person, ain't changing due to our views on solo time in the wild. Which is how it should be. Otherwise, I'd walk away. Again.

/callousGreg.

[mechanicaldope]

My wife doesn't understand or have any desire to try sleeping in bush. She grew up in a city without her family ever exposing her to the wild outdoors. However she is more than happy for me to do my thing but when I'm away she is a little anxious. She also thinks I'm a nob for liking it!

[Moder-dye]

My wife is pretty happy that i go away cycling/hiking/camping. I've always done it and she's knows its my thing being out and about and usually solo. Occasionally she and or my lad will come too, they both enjoy it, but don't have a drive to be out like I do.

I do leave her my plans, text occasionally and have a PLB.

At the moment in think she wishes I could get out/away more but my knee is buggered so I'm a grumpy bear stuck in the house a lot. Still, 2 weeks and i see the orthopaedic to find out if I'll be getting a knee replacement in the new year

I'm glad Benedict was found just to be delayed in the end. He's one of my childhood hero's really, from before it all got so popular on TV

[psling]

The only time I get to see my girlfriend is when her partner is away pursuing the great outdoors...

[RobMac]

The only time I get to see my girlfriend is when her partner is away pursuing the great outdoors...

[ootini]

I'm in an awkward situation given that I work away a lot and have a young (4 year old) son, which means when I get back I try to make as much of it as possible. So flying back from two weeks in Sweden to announce that I'm off out on the bike doesn't go down well. I need to be a bit more conservative with my time, which is why most of my bikepacking experience is made up of over nighters, as opposed to the longer trips.

[In Reverse]

The only time I get to see my girlfriend is when her partner is away pursuing the great outdoors...

[Trail-rat]

My wifes as keen as I am to get out and about.

To be fair it's only when I have the desire to do something on my own she gets worried as she knows the reason she's not generally invited is because it's something stupid.

How ever when plotting I always think back to Dave Blumenthal. sub standard happens sometimes bad luck conspires against you and are those left behind ready for it ? Reading his blog after the event was quite stirring as it reads like he was saying bye incase he didn't come back. Its not something I've ever considered - Its never crossed my mind I won't come back - how ever its happened to the best of us like it or not we really are not masters of our own destiny as much as we think we are in control.

How ever stay positive or we will never do anything worth doing. . To paraphrase Roosevelt "nothing worth doing is ever easy"

[ZeroDarkBivi]

The only time I get to see my girlfriend is when her partner is away pursuing the great outdoors...

The Naval toast; "to wives and sweethearts, and may never the two meet!"

[middleagedmadness]

i stopped climbing after I had quite a bad accident ,didn't stop due to my wife telling me to but because in the back of my head I knew she would be anxious till i got home and that's really not what I needed in my own head when trying to lead a e1 route, she totally accepts my biking but as above thinks I'm a ejit for it , as for her she has no intentions in getting covered in mud and sleeping out, shes from Dublin so her hobbies are drinking ,drinking and a little singing (I do partake in the drinking with her just to show support of her hobbies)

[Richard G]

The only time I get to see my girlfriend is when her partner is away pursuing the great outdoors...

Probably explains why mine is so keen for me to have a hobby...

[Alpinum]

"No, you're not going there with your battered crampons - get new ones."

"Shouldn't you take the avalanche safetly gear for this trip?"

"No, go with out me, I'm not keen on suffering through it."

"Here's the weather report: [...]"

"We could do it together."

"Are you seriously taking the thinner bag?"

My girlfriend is super supportive but it's not always fun to hop over crevasses and travel ridges withou her. She knows when I'm scared before a trip and it's amazing how she helps me find confidence.

Before todays cheapish means of sat comm, we weren't able to talk for multiple weeks. And now I can contact her daily. Being one of the left behinds too, I much appreciate both sides of it. A scetchy trip isn't rendered safer, but those at home can relax with every message.

There's also parents. They're happy about todays comm tech too. Dad is super eager to google earth my positions and Mum just happy to know I'm fine. I've lost a few friends and it always scares the sh't out of my parents when they realise it could have been them to take their child to the grave. Kind of hurts to be such an egoist. But what do you do if you need to challenge yourself a bit to stay sound?

Some outdoor adventures are very egoistic. I don't even think about the safest options but follow my gut feelings.
So... yes, to find peace, some need to leave behind.

[Borderer]

Do you all always leave your route with someone?

[Bearbonesnorm]

I've told this tale before but it's probably worth repeating here ...

Me: Do you worry about me when I'm out?

Dee: How do you mean?

Me: You know, do you worry that I might have an accident or hurt myself.

Dee: What, when you're out riding?

Me: Yeah.

Dee: Really?

Me: Yeah.






Dee: Do I f*ck.

[Trail-rat]

its rare that i have a route i just move

if i drove there , ill text where i parked the car , besides that ill text where i am , what direction I'm heading in , if known - where im aiming for and then when ill likely be in touch again.

[Bearbonesnorm]

I struggle a bit when topics like this appear as they sometimes make me feel somewhat reckless or irresponsible but luckily they're feelings that I can quite quickly shake off. The truth (reckless or otherwise) is that no one tends to know where I am, where I'm intending to go or quite when I might get back and I'm off the radar as far as communication goes ... although I did send a postcard home from the IoM.

[thenorthwind]

This isn't something I struggle with much, mainly as my "adventures" aren't of a particularly sketchy nature, and also because I have a supportive partner. But I'm always careful to make sure she, or someone else, knows my intentions (route or possible routes, timings, when I might be able to contact them, etc.), particularly on the (fairly rare) occasions when we're doing something like that together, since she's usually the only person expecting to see me soon, and that's no good if she's with me. This is partly as a result of reading 127 (or however many it was) Hours.

At risk of taking the thread of at a tangent, does anyone have any practical tips for keeping in touch? Satellite phones and SPOT trackers are one thing, but a bit serious for me. What I'd really like is an app that could ping back (possibly on request) a GPS location via text (when there is network coverage of course).

[Bearbonesnorm]

does anyone have any practical tips for keeping in touch?

Did you miss the bit about postcards?

[whitestone]

does anyone have any practical tips for keeping in touch?

Did you miss the bit about postcards?

I'd have thought you'd have used smoke signals

[Alpinum]

Do you all always leave your route with someone?

Yes. At least one person will know. A person capable of making the right decisions and calling the right numbers should I f@ck up.
Also, we often arrange check out times. This can be a bit tricky though and needs careful planning. In many places here we don't have any signal (thankfully we can look those areas up, this helps loads with planning), so additional buffer time needs to be added.

I too do this on a 2 h ride close to home, for the way I ride and risks I take it's good to be at least sensible in one area...

What I didn't quite understand is a friend who had a serious crash and was immobile. Nobody knew where she was. Hikers found her. Later she still stuck to the idea that she feels constricted in her freedom if she lets her eg boyfriend know where she's heading. We had many discussions about this as I was asked to run to the hospital too. Now she's mum of two and this has changed completely.

its rare that i have a route i just move

if i drove there , ill text where i parked the car , besides that ill text where i am , what direction I'm heading in , if known - where im aiming for and then when ill likely be in touch again.

How it's done if there's not a route

[Alpinum]

What I'd really like is an app that could ping back (possibly on request) a GPS location via text (when there is network coverage of course)

Search for GPS messenger in an app store. There are loads of em.

I'd make sure the app works on sms service (too).