Not getting out there, wasting time (and my life) instead

[Rockbus]

Firstly, I know there’s a complete irony that I’m spending my time posting this on a Friday after midnight ……but

Am I the only one who is caught up in a habit of wasting my time thinking about, planning and buying things for adventures, events, trips etc but not actually doing ANYTHING??

So frustrated with myself at moment. Spend way too long on internet in particular but also reading books and watching films about the sort of things I want to do but never actually get on with anything. Turned 50 last year and really wanted to start leading a more adventurous life (even if around the heavy commitment of family and work I have). Spent fortune on bikepacking and hiking equipment I haven’t really used.

I have a camper van, road, gravel and mountain bike all gathering dust rather than bringing me the life I really want to live.

the inspiration is there for me but not the energy or gumption to do anything about it…..really feel like I’m letting life pass me by at the moment.

[redefined_cycles]

Hey up Rockbus. You're not on your own mate and they say the first step to fixing/healing/sorting is to talk about it (or acknowledge there's a problem).

I recently bought a book at the suggestion of my little bro called, 30/30 body blueprint (or summat like that). Seema good and based around a Nasa philosophy/teaching. Hope you get sorted with lots of motivation soon/quickly. Stay strong brothe/sister and I'll stop therebefore becoming irritating.

In answer to your Q... No, you're not the only one. Phone companies pay good money to professora/universities/researchers to help learn better how to keep us glued to this pile of rubbish!!

[psling]

Am I the only one who is caught up in a habit of wasting my time thinking about, planning and buying things for adventures, events, trips etc but not actually doing ANYTHING??

The only one? I would imagine you are part of a majority if truth be known!
Whether it be travel, sports, playing an instrument, anything we aspire to really, the world is full of dreamers. The hard part is actually doing it; allocating time and taking that first step. And acknowledging that it may only be an occasional thing fitted in amongst all those other commitments.
Easy to say just do it, much harder to take that first step! Truth is though all we need to do is take that first step.

Live your own life. The hashtag world of getting into 'nature' is full of depressed people behind the smiley photos.

[jameso]

Based on the STW thread .. seems things haven't changed for you in the last 8 months. Perhaps the answer is in your own mind more than on the internet. What's stopping you just going out for a ride to somewhere new, today? Or Sunday, or as soon you have a couple of hours free time?

Doesn't need to be far. Perhaps just go here https://cycle.travel/map, click on where you live, click on a place you think might be interesting, anywhere. Take a route and see how it goes. Remind yourself what you're missing*

I'll have a go at the tips though - it may be that you're lacking B-vitamins, magnesium or something simple like that. Perhaps see a local GP?

The hashtag world of getting into 'nature' is full of depressed people behind the smiley photos.

I reckon. The internet / social media is useful but not healthy in large doses. The danger is posting for reactions then taking value or happiness from those reactions, that addictive cycle.
Being online late in the evening is a bad habit I think, it's not good for your sleep. Books or low-level TV in the evening, sunlight early in the morning, no coffee after midday - all helps get your natural rhythms in balance which I think is good for your state of mind and energy levels.


*getting wet, tired, a sore back or backside etc like we all do, but also the simple joys of motion, serendipity or sunlight. That's all it's about sometimes?

Edit to add, I think natural stoke (sorry, ha) levels fade as we age so many of us will feel a bit procrastinate-y at times. I can feel my own motivation for big rides and adventures reducing as I get older, or maybe itches have been itched by what I've done in the past. Not to make this about me, just fwiw .. I think that fading of stoke or whatever we'd call it is ok, if you see it as a growing satisfaction in life. I'm happy that I don't feel the need to fly off to new destinations these days. Happy that I've tested myself in the past and can accept that we go slower or recover less easily as we get older. Happy to know that riding is about things I can find anywhere, not only in the grand, Instagram-worthy scenery a long way away. What I think we all fear is being old with regrets - why didn't I do more when I could, why did I waste the most valuable thing we have - time. That kind of thing. That's what you're risking, to risk being a bit blunt.

[yourguitarhero]

I understand completely.

Been in the same situation for last couple of years, since pandemic. Working full-time (used to be part time pre-covid) and having moved in to my girlfriend's place in small town that I don't really like, I've just thrown myself in to work - both at work, and on loads of projects. I've built two campervans, renovated my flat back in the city and turned it in a successful holiday let business, done huge amounts of DIY at her house to sort rising damp and also built a (admittedly small) commercial brewery I intend to start as a wee business (I have a masters degree in brewing and distilling!)
Have also saved up enough money to live for 2 years without a job or the income from the flat.

None of it has made me happy and left very little time for cycling! Stress levels have been outrageous.

However, it's always been done with an idea of giving myself a secure footing/base to do what I want, when I want.

I had to do an interview at work this week. If I succeeded I would get a promotion, if I failed - out the door! And knowing that I had everything in place meant I wasn't too fussed.
In the end I got the job, and along with a bit more cash, it is part time - 3 days a week. I'm so glad as there is no way I could have continued working at the pace I was. My hair has gone grey!
And I know that the job is only for another three years. I work for a public inquiry and they come to an end (eventually )

This weekend is the first weekend I've had that I can remember when I have no jobs to do or any plans at all. So I'm off for a bike ride and a picnic somewhere.

And in September I'm taking 6 weeks off and heading south in the new campervan (old one was too unreliable for such a trip) - Bordeaux, Basque Country, Portugal. I'm hoping to try out surfing!



I guess what I'm saying is, maybe cut something out? Can you get compressed hours or a 4 day week from work? Or even a small sabbatical/career break, even if it's unpaid (and you can still make the sums add up!)? 6 weeks off to go cycling or even just walking would set you right. Go Walkabout like Crocodile Dundee

[Bearbonesnorm]

Have you considered that you might be depressed? Not wanting to do the things you love(ed). What feels like excessive spending on items you don't use or really need and then berating yourself for how you're feeling are pretty much classic symptoms.

It snuck up on a lot of people during and post Covid and it can be quite a subtle thing.

[psling]

I've built two campervans, renovated my flat back in the city and turned it in a successful holiday let business, done huge amounts of DIY at her house to sort rising damp and also built a (admittedly small) commercial brewery I intend to start as a wee business (I have a masters degree in brewing and distilling!)
Have also saved up enough money to live for 2 years without a job or the income from the flat...

... And in September I'm taking 6 weeks off and heading south in the new campervan (old one was too unreliable for such a trip) - Bordeaux, Basque Country, Portugal. I'm hoping to try out surfing!

^^^ The dream

None of it has made me happy and left very little time for cycling! Stress levels have been outrageous.

^^^ The reality

The problem sometimes with converting dreams to reality is often that no matter how far you travel into the dream your head still goes with you.

[voodoo_simon]

First up, nice one for your heavy commitments to your family and work, there’s many people out there that don’t Sounds like you just need to start getting a balance of some free time now.

Try booking a pitch for your campervan or enter into a ride/race/sportive. See lots of Glorious Gravel rides advertise and seem to have a few distances at each event to suit most needs. By booking somewhere, you may actually feel guilty enough to turn up and ride and you’ll probably feel better for it too. Also don’t book into the longest distance either as that can put you off, so the shorter distances and enjoy it.

The weather is also rubbish at the moment, so motivation will be low. June was great, so it’s really knocked me for going out in July. Getting rather bored of every weekend being a washout…

Also, what’s the motivation to get out and about? James is right, some will be doing it for social media to look happy but deep down, they’re not enjoying it. For me, bikepacking is an excuse to cover a lot of ground over a couple of days rather than doing a small circular route, I don’t like camping (ie I’ll use an overnight trip to extend my rides rather than using an overnight trip as an excuse to go camping - hence I won’t do local bikepacking trips as I’d rather be home in the evening on a comfortable…). In essence, try and work out what motivates you to get out and do that rather than feeling what your peers do and copying them

[Lazarus]

I just ride. I knoq i don't always enjoy the getting my self out/ motivation butn but i always enjoy it once out. I also find commuting helpful.as I have to get to work so there is some base miles going on
Small vague goals may help
This week I will ride once
I will ride more miles than last week
I will do a bivvy
I will ride each bike once this week
Etc they don't have to be massive they just have to be achievable.
Goals help me focus

On the rare occasions I am not riding loads I buy way more stuff, when riding I just repair/ replace stuff.( tyres and chains this month for example)
Waiting for a bloody parcel delivery so I can go ride ( expecting to miss the sun and having to go out in the rain my goal is I will ride today..how far remains to be seen )

[riderdown]

I think part of the solution is doing stuff with someone else, that pushes you when you wobble and you do more

Problem is finding them and breaking down barriers to having a joint enterprise of getting out more

[drain]

What Stu said ^^^
It varies from one individual to another, but anhedonia (not taking pleasure from things you usually like) is often an indicator (certainly in my top three mental tells - irritability and brain fog being the others, along with chronic throat ache, itchy skin and sleeplessness as my physical tells).
Worth having a think as to whether there are any other things you’ve spotted about yourself that differ from your usual self.
Something that may help (it does for me) is to not beat yourself up about not doing that big ride or epic overnighter, celebrate the small stuff and appreciate what you do have. Easy if you say it quick enough!
Hang in there.

[JackT]

In addition to what others have said, there may be some guidance from 'microadventures / S42O' thinking. I'd echo jameso's suggestion of a local route, either a day ride or an overnight. Make it something pleasurable & manageable, not a test of extreme endurance.

Then get your kit organised and packed on your bike (incl overnight kit & food as required) so it's is all there ready to go (I find that the faff of finding and packing everything is often a barrier to doing short spontaneous trips). With the route planned and the bike ready and waiting, when a bit of good weather presents itself, and you've got a window of time away from work and family commitments, you just jump on and ride. It's all about minimising any organisational friction that's holding you back.

I'd echo the idea of doing something with a friend or two, that does help bind in a date or time. Likewise booking and paying for something (an event, a B&B) can increase the commitment level.

The internet (esp Instagram) is quite bad for creating unrealistic aspirations and making 'real life' look a bit sub standard. All those amazing places around the world can make the idea of a local UK overnighter pale by comparison. But once you're tucked up in your bivvy, having watched the sun go down, heard the owls hoot and seen the first stars emerge in the night sky, it really doesn't matter if you're on a hill in Berkshire or a desert in Arizona.

Good luck! You're definitely not the only one.

[Jurassic]

Some great advice being handed out in this thread. I'm 59 and will be retiring from my full time/long term job next March. I always thought that this last year working would be a breeze but in reality it's tough going and I find myself struggling mentally to deal with things that I usually take in my stride. I also had to do a mandatory online course at work recently about work related stress and was surprised that I could recognise many of the signs and symptoms in myself. One of the things that I usually love doing is riding my bike and at the moment a lot of the joy has gone out of it for me. I'm not too concerned as I'm pretty sure that it's stress related and I should be free of that particular stress next spring.
Another thing that I've always found is that the hardest part of any adventure (be it biking, hiking or just going off in the camper van) is getting out the front door and this tendency has definitely become more pronounced as I've got older. Once I'm rolling things just fall into place so I just need to force myself to get going. I've also found that it doesn't need to be an epic to be fun, just heading out locally for an adventure is rewarding (once I've overcome that initial inertia). The effort involved in getting ready to go is often pretty similar for a long or short trip but starting with something local and short term is usually less daunting and a good way to build up enthusiasm, experience and confidence that you're going to have a good time if you make that extra effort to cross the threshold. Good luck.

[RIP]

I could discuss this all day, but to prevent that (relief all round) I'll just say https://bearbonesbikepacking.co.uk/phpB ... 10&t=22823

We're all bikepackers here, presumably; because we love it, presumably; because it's the opposite of wasting time. BaM helped me when I started it 8 years ago, and has got me through some sticky patches since then. The discipline of once a month enforces "getting out there". Maybe even fix the same date each month whatever the weather. Tree-bathing is a thing. Call this bike-bathing.

[Cheeky Monkey]

Gear doesn't equal experiences. I have a whole garage full of sub standard to prove it

A mate has a personal motto to "do something everyday". His unending enthusiasm bugs the sub standard out of me sometimes but :grinds teeth: he's pretty spot on.

Pick manageable, achievable things tho and resist the urge to make it an excuse to buy more stuff. You almost undoubtedly have plenty that's more than good enough, just use it and get it dirty.

YMMV

Lots of other people's comments very good too. Pick what works for you. Set a goal to come back next week and tell us what you did. No one will care whether it's epic.

[RIP]

No one will care whether it's epic.

True enough. As well as gear not particularly making an experience, neither does it have to be epic. As we found in 'lockdown' you can have an amazing experience with something that on the face of it might seem initially unpromising. Nor do you have to "achieve" anything.

[boxelder]

Don't plan it, just get on a bike and head off, following your nose.

[voodoo_simon]

A mate has a personal motto to "do something everyday". His unending enthusiasm bugs the sub standard out of me sometimes but :grinds teeth: he's pretty spot on.

Pick manageable, achievable things tho and resist the urge to make it an excuse to buy more stuff. You almost undoubtedly have plenty that's more than good enough, just use it and get it dirty.

That’s great advice cheeky monkey

I think this is what I do, if I don’t go for a ride I’ll tidy the garden up instead. I like to keep busy until a couple of hours before bed, so low the lawn, brush up the leaves another day, do the neighbours part of the lawn etc etc I like jobs that have a definitive end, so something looks better than I started.

It’s been sub conscious for years but only recently realised that’s what I do, setting out each day to achieve small goals.

[trob6]

What everyone has already said, don't overthink it all, it's just riding a bike.
I think I offered to show you some camp spots last year?
If that is you I'm riding next Saturday from Warwick on a loop that a freind has invented, no idea where it goes or how far it is but I can find out, your welcome to come and I very much doubt we will win instragram or it will be epic but then that's just like most rides.
Tim.

[Tractionman]

What everyone has already said, don't overthink it all, it's just riding a bike.

that's a good philosophy to have, I've just popped up to Tesco's for a few bits, I could have walked but no, I took the bike, much quicker and besides, every little helps

[Charliecres]

It can really help to put something (small, not daunting, in the diary on a regular basis. Bivy a month works a bit like this. Once you’ve done it once, the second time is easier and so on. Conversely, the longer you go without getting out, the harder it is to make that first step.

Also, making joint plans with someone else is a great way to increase the chances of them actually happening.

Good luck!

[Richpips]

I'm just back from a trip and am still buzzing.

For ages I'd been saying I'd do something this year. The year was halfway done before I committed thoughThe key was booking dates off work, and buying insurance and a flight to the start point.
I made a plan with cycle.travel which I mostly ignored making things up day by day. No rules, a bit of wild camping, some campsites and even a couple of nights in hotels. Long days, short days, hilly days, flat days.

Make a date and go!

[boxelder]

Rockbus - give us a 4 fig grid ref of where you live (quick search suggests Warwickshire) and we can maybe plan a few short jaunts/set a few challenges - as a nudge to get you out. A sort of virtual Mr Motivator?

[Rockbus]

Thanks all for the responses.
Appreciate some of the concerns, glad to say it’s not a case of being depressed, just a bit down and p’d off with myself.

I’ll have a think about some of the ideas but at least try and focus on at least getting out of the house and doing something.

[redefined_cycles]

Rockbus - give us a 4 fig grid ref of where you live (quick search suggests Warwickshire) and we can maybe plan a few short jaunts/set a few challenges - as a nudge to get you out. A sort of virtual Mr Motivator?

nice thinking Boxelder.