I've written a piece today about the less obvious hazards facing the off-road cyclist. There are several headings, some you may have considered and some you may not. http://www.farawayvisions.com/biking-hazards/

I'd really love it if you could add your own which you can either add here or on the blog.

Rabits
Gullies and tramlines hidden by leaves
Badgers
Horses (& horse-riders)
Hidden tree stumps
Kissing gates (Pita as you need three hands)
Squirrels throwing acorns at you.

Gullies and tramlines hidden by leaves

What are tramlines?

Bees/wasps entering clothing and
Stinging you.
Ow f**k f**k f**k.


New shrub/tree growth getting jammed in the small gaps between the spokes near the hub flange and winding round and round, steadily winching you into the undergrowth where you will ultimately cause hilarity to all of those around you. Apparently.

The all pervading sense of calm brought on by travelling through the verdant beauty of one's surroundings combined with the endorphins released as side effect of hauling a bicycle laden with nuts and bananas up a beastly incline. These can lull you into a false sense of security and well being potentially resulting in an absent minded, dreamy crash causing, hilarity to all of those around you.......

Grouse. Got attacked by one on our final day of the South Downs Way. Think it was defending its nest. Couldn't even scare it away ended up having to sprint up the first hill of the day.

I got attacked by a grouse once, stopped to open a gate and this female grouse shot out of the undergrowth and started attacking my boot, I too had to get away quick as it just wouldn't stop. In November so no nests or even breeding season, very strange.

These are very funny and interesting 'hazards'. Perhaps I could compile an even bigger list of lesser known hazards if there is a big enough response. Thanks for the entertaining replies.

I've just got back from a ride, going through some local woods, unaware there was a Hunter Trial on (Toffs, horses, pretending they are hunting, etc etc). Some young lad races up from behind me, on some narrow, and very rutted double track and forced me into a ditch. Total idiot. Anyway, I got to the top of the hill, they were all there about 20 of them, hanging about saying 'ra ra ra, ya ya ya jolly jodhpurs' so I told him what I though of him and his kind. It gave me a great deal of pleasure.

Then I rode off, and got a puncture about 200m down the track. Doh.

Another grouse victim here, several years ago up at Glentress. Chased me up the trail it did. Clearly very territorial, just like mole catchers and women who leave their knickers on fences.

Another grouse victim here, several years ago up at Glentress. Chased me up the trail it did. Clearly very territorial, just like mole catchers and women who leave their knickers on fences.

Not many grouse about on the south coast, but clearly they need a wide berth. Thankfully, the moles stay underground, not like the women.

All this talk about moles has piqued my curiosity. You see although I'm keen on wildlife, Before I came to live in England, I'd never seen a mole, and I'm not sure I even thought they were real. Just something Beatrix Potter made up. So I checked it out today, and there are absolutely no moles in Ireland!

Down here in the sunny south, the moles are quite posh, so posh in fact that they live in pretty cottages.

No one has yet said Doggers. Nothing disrupts a ride like finding a couple or several couples at it in the country.

tommid wrote:No one has yet said Doggers. Nothing disrupts a ride like finding a couple or several couples at it in the country.

My fell running club has a long tradition of mid winter night runs with head torches.

We once happened upon a dogging session. We appeared to startle them somewhat. I suppose 20 super bright lights appearing from a hill side would be a bit odd.

Actually they seemed to think it was a police raid and panic ensued.

I thought Doggers were a myth like Narwhals or Roller-Cam brakes.
It disturbs me to discover they are real.
I suppose that they were more scared of you than you of them.

I've had innards dropped on me by a bird of prey, or I suppose it might have been a flying cat. I was also hit from above, while stopped in the woods on a night ride, by something warm and splattery that seemed about the size and consistency of a cowpat but composed of a mixture of digested fruit and meat.

Bloody hammock dwellers.

I got taken out by a deer a few years ago during a night race. It was the 1st lap of the Dusk til Dawn at Thetford Forest, and about 2-3 miles in there was a big commotion in the undergrowth along side the line of riders, closely followed by a deer jumping across the track and hitting my back wheel, sending me off into the bushes and leaving a very surprised deer lying upside down on the track. The deer got up and ran off, and I was left with a lovely pringle shaped rear wheel.
I had to spend 15 minutes jumping on the wheel to make it straight enough to rotate in the frame, by which time I was dead last.
Got back to the pits, swapped wheels and eventually came 4th!

Another time on Bredon Hill near Evesham, a few (big!) deer came out of the trees about 3metres in front of us, but leapt the path at head height as we were riding - bloody close call. Dangerous things these deer.

Still haven't seen any of these nocturnal doggers though

Kumquat wrote:I thought Doggers were a myth like Narwhals or Roller-Cam brakes.
It disturbs me to discover they are real.

Yes very real, and quite active around Cannock Your right to be disturbed

Yes, totally forgot about doggers, I guess I chose to forget. Seeing some sixtysomethings at it over the bonnet of a vauxhall cavalier is not a memory I'm fond of.

Backcasting fishermen on Loganlea Reservoir in the Pentland Hills. There are signs up to warn you but I swear some of them do it deliberately as you pass.

slarge wrote:
Still haven't seen any of these nocturnal doggers though

Didn't you stumble across a couple in a carpark when you were doing the BB200 the weekend before the rest of us?

Ah yes, forgotten that one, but it was just a couple on the steps of their camper van at the Claerwen reservoir dam. Not sure if that counts as real dogging or just a bit of al fresco fruitiness!

mountainbaker wrote:Yes, totally forgot about doggers, I guess I chose to forget. Seeing some sixtysomethings at it over the bonnet of a vauxhall cavalier is not a memory I'm fond of.

I take it you're a Ford man then?

Doggers! Hmm! I used to live in the Sperrin Mountains (Co. Tyrone) in a little house known as 'The Rabbit Catcher's Cottage'.

It was at the edge of Beltrim Castle estate with a salmon river in front and woods to the rear. My neighbours were red squirrels and pheasants, but a couple of miles up the road was a site which was the UK's most popular Dogging site.

One night, I went up to see what it was all about, but nobody was there.

Yori (the old boy at the next farm down) informed me that the forest was full of doggers. It seemed a bit odd because I'd not seen or heard anything, so I questioned him further in my bestest Wenglish and eventually I discovered he'd become slightly confused and actually meant 'lampers' ... easy mistake but oh so different

I discovered he'd become slightly confused and actually meant 'lampers' .

Doggers do play about with flashing lights though.