Give me a list, from experience for preference. I'm thinking airbed gone flat, river crossing gone wrong, closed shops or, even worse, pubs. Realising you left something vital behind. Dogs. The kind of thing you laugh at looking back. What you got?

Six hour train journey to start of route, a week-long ride. Line closure due to overhead issues, so disassemble bikes and put into the back of a taxi for two hours (thankfully paid for by Virgin). Arrive four hours later than expected, sun is starting to set. Hastily reassemble bikes in car park. Go to begin navigation of route on GPS and press delete instead of start. Companion has route on phone, but drops phone on a rock after 35km and obliterates the screen.

Buying paper maps as we go it is then. 400km across eight maps if I remember correctly? Lots of missed turns and shortcuts to not ride off of the edge of the map.

Doomscrolling!

Us being Bearboners you know this is coming....... "no such thing as 'gone wrong', you've simply experienced an unforeseen alternative outcome learning situation"

@Dean that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Full disclosure, I'm after material for this https://www.ghostsociety.co.uk/best-bad ... mpetition/

Promise to feed the Bear if I win

Broken seat clamp.....

On the subject of river crossings gone wrong....loosing a fork bag with stove and gas in the River Feshie

I've only had minor issues and a fair few catastrophic punctures so little help I'm afraid (cue utter disaster on the Highland Trail) however I feel that you should compose something to the beat of McGonagle's ode to the tay bridge disaster!

Ghosts?? Voices in the night…

Wrote a few words years ago about how I wimped out of staying in a bothy (story #2)
https://singlespeedsimon.wordpress.com/ ... -of-simon/


I’ve forgotten my helmet for a ride once (had to buy one on arrival) and recently I think it was my shoes (so I sat in the coffee consuming large coffees and cakes to cheer myself up)

Had the usual train cancellations on the way to WRT and no one could tell me whether or not the bike could go into the coach provided (it was a several hour queue for the replacement coach, all i wanted was a simple yes or no to the bike going on but that was just too easy for Arriva to do…!)

I’ve also done the dreaded hike a bike up the hill to find it was a hike a bike downhill (and not the promised sweeping singletrack)

Pawl failure on rear hub thank f-ck for cable ties

Forgetting lighter

Forgetting pump

Forgetting to load gps route

Forgetting key to bike lock when bike is locked to carrier on back of van

Rubbing hole in poorly secured rear seat pack

Repeat for front food pouch

Breaking spokes, realising the spares you’re carrying are not for these wheels

Eating seafood pizza

Picking the wrong riding companion

Staying in a hotel that only does a tasting menu

Getting the midnight wee wrong (poor aim)

Trying to reason with a Welsh farmer

Listening to “he’s only being friendly”

Too much weight on the sink when arse washing

Shaving mid-multi-day ride (not me ., Nordy)

I could keep typing forever

I’m a serial forgetter of stuff:- tarp twice, riding boots twice, fuel (cooked on fire that time), lighter, cycling jacket, money & card. I’ve also lost stuff:- a bike lock, countless pairs of glasses both reading and cycling, water bottles, a Spot Gen 3 and a down hoodie. Probably other stuff that I’ve forgotten about. I’ve thought I’ve lost stuff that tuned up later but not before long searching (ask Reg). I even lost my car in Macclesfield once - took me two and a half hours to find it.

Sadly there’s no sign of me learning from my mistakes…

Three of us loaded the car for an overnighter.

Only two bike racks so two bikes on the roof and split the rear seats to put the third bike in the back of the car.

Drove 90 minutes to the ride start and realised we'd left the front wheel of the third bike at home when loading the car.

D'oh ,!!!

Ah yes, forgotten that - I left my front wheel at a remote car park near Kirriemuir on the failed Scottish winter Bivvy in 2022 - fat bike wheel with a brand new Bud fitted, about £500's worth...
Fortunately I took the bike out of the car when I got home, rather than leave it until the next day and realised what I'd done. The drive back to the car park was done at speed, fortunately, being well past dark O'clock, it was still there!

The drive train that should be ok for a couple more rides.....

A dead heat between Lu and Dave so far

frogatthefarriers wrote: ↑Sun Mar 23, 2025 8:43 pm I’m a serial forgetter of stuff:- tarp twice, riding boots twice, fuel (cooked on fire that time), lighter, cycling jacket, money & card. I’ve also lost stuff:- a bike lock, countless pairs of glasses both reading and cycling, water bottles, a Spot Gen 3 and a down hoodie. Probably other stuff that I’ve forgotten about. I’ve thought I’ve lost stuff that tuned up later but not before long searching (ask Reg). I even lost my car in Macclesfield once - took me two and a half hours to find it.

Sadly there’s no sign of me learning from my mistakes…

A spot device? Isn’t that ironic in an Alanis Morrisette kind of way??

I seem to have a habit of forgetting some combination of pot, stove, gas, coffee or food. I've largely given up on tarps since I always seem to get wet. I've lost lights after careening down hillsides but that's largely just meant I've had to limit myself to riding in daylight. I think I've been lucky so far.

Serial Ti frame breaking in inopportune moments is a biggie for me, I'm up to 4. Looking at you Van Nicholas. Otherwise the good times and generosity of strangers far outweighs the hassle.

Loving this list so far. Keep up the bad work!

Somewhat boring compared to what's come before, but I'll add loading a route rather than a track from the weekend just gone.

Going on an "Expert" level mountain bike holiday in July based around Mount Olympus in Greece with a group I didn't know, 2 of whom had never ridden off road before. Guide lost 1 client on the first day, he was alone so left us while he searched for 3 hours in 40° sun. By day 3 the group had reduced from 8 to 2 then the guide fell off and broke his arm so it was us that did the rescuing. They gave us a map for the rest of the week and let us get on with it, things improved.

It's nothing compared to the storied shared here, but i cycled to work today and forgot my towel.
Obviously I realised that AFTER having showered.

Valerio wrote: ↑Tue Mar 25, 2025 4:45 pm It's nothing compared to the storied shared here, but i cycled to work today and forgot my towel.
Obviously I realised that AFTER having showered.

A"Hoopy Frood" should always know where his towel is!!

I need to re-read those.

I had a free hub fail in the middle of nowhere in the pissing rain at 5pm on a Saturday on the first day of a seven-day trip to the Highlands. Cue much panicked ringing around closed or closing bike shops followed by a 50-mile warp speed taxi journey to Wheelcraft in Campsie Glen where the owner, Al, had kept the shop open for me. He made me an toastie, invited me to kip there and came back specially the next day to build me a new wheel. He also brought me a flask of homemade soup and kept me entertained with eccentric tales of a life in cycling and bike shops while he sorted the wheel. Absolute next-level legend.
To top it all, I left my helmet in the taxi and had to ride the rest of the trip without one.

I did The Atlas Race this year and the bearing in my lower jockey wheel seized solid on day 3, I took it off to have a look and it fell apart, all I was left with was the inner and outer race.

So my options where, scratch but I was in the middle of nowhere, single speed but too many mountains to go as I wasn't even halfway or bolt it back in with no balls in the bearing, I did the last one.

After 50km it was making a terrible racket so took it off and had another look, clearly it needed lube, the only thing I had was factor 50 sun cream so I put some in and it worked.

For the next 4 days I cleaned and re suncreamed it every 50km or so and I made it to the end.

I now have a spare jockey wheel in my kit

I think it was on the Tuscany Trail that my front brake went really poor. Quick check of the reservoir, empty! Turns out that the sunflower oil out of a tin of tuna is a pretty good substitute. It's OK on the chain aswell as I hadn't got any chain lube either