MuddyPete & Reg BaM Crimbo Edition. Not calling it our Winter Bivvy since we couldn't manage the official one tomorrow night.
This being our Works Christmas Outing, naturally it's going to feature food n booze. Off we go to find an Xmas tree growing wood as a suitable venue. Arrive and park up. Note M-P's correct usage of bottle harness. No, I have absolutely no idea what's going on at the back end there

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First things first, let's toast our fortitude. It's been heavy rain for the past few hours. Mince pies and caramel sauce as an accompaniment. Cheers!
Oooh, candlelit dinner for two, How romantic

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Better get the roast in the oven then or we'll be here all night. Oh alright, get the veggie turkey things and veg in the pan on the gas stove (if I can remember how to use it - Meths Man usually). And yes obviously one has to have a f*** (now then now then) at Crimbo, but equally obviously yes it's on a tray and yes we carted away every last fleck of ash thank you

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We don't seem to be making much of a dent in the supplies in the drinks cabinet
Time to tuck in. "Turkey", stuffing, spuds, carrots, onion gravy, and yes, the dreaded sprouts.
Flambee Xmas pud
And mulled wine and chocs to finish.
Well past midnight and we retire to our boudoirs - bivvy bag for Pete, tarp for Reg.
Gear review: 10 x 9 flat tarp from BackPackingLight still doing sterling service, again in my favoured flying diamond configuration, with 2mm dyneema lines and 9g Ti V pegs- slippery hitch round the Xmas tree, three pegs, 20 seconds, done, time for dinner. Minor tactical error, forgot to prop up the bottom corner for more foot room and ventilation. Enormous bedroom inside, you could easily get your bike in it too if you were feeling friendly. The simplicity and speed of the whole thing makes me laugh out loud every time. "L" shaped spinnaker groundsheet as good as it was last time too. Bright white so dead easy to see stuff arranged on it. No bivvy bag - not got one, no point - PHD Hispar 400 (-9) plenty warm enough with baselayer on, and down balaclava, with temperatures approaching 0c. I find that once I've warmed up it's easy to slide the leggings down to my feet to regulate my temperature enough. Exped Hyperlite mat, Exped mini-pump, S2S pillow.
Woke once in the night to pay my respects to Jimmy Riddle. We really don't talk about Bodily Functions in This Place much do we? (Ohhhhh Reg, we
did all that in school last week...). Considering everyone has them that's a bit weird. Well I'm going offend our British reserve and explain exactly what my procedure is. Look away now if it embarrasses the kids... Wake up just in time and unzip bag. Turn over, slide out onto truncated side of groundsheet (half length top end) and kneel on it right at the forward edge facing out of the tarp but still under it. Grab tarp peg (no trowel, too heavy) and excavate hole 18" away. Put hands in sandals which were strategically placed, and, still kneeling, "walk" them until I'm horizontal over the hole, knees now up in the air and toes supporting me on the groundsheet. Supported by one hand, use other to extract and point Percy into the hole (obviously by necessity my waist is at least 12" off the ground at this critical moment otherwise I'd have four points of ground contact not three...). Perform the ritual
being careful only to wee in the hole. Considerable control of back muscles required during this part of the procedure, to maintain rigid horizontal position. Reverse the procedure, filling in the hole on the way. Plainly our female residents are going to be using a slightly different technique. Or are they? I have not been witness to a demonstration I have to admit.
I think we should have a night-time appointment procedure survey. Or maybe this is summat for a Stu blog post.
Season's Bleatings to one and all.
Reg and MuddyPete (photos by both).
12/12, 12/12, 97/97.